Success – We all define it differently. For some it’s about making a lot of money, for others it’s about getting to the top of a company, and for others it’s about health and/or lifestyle. But, in the end, success is success, and it will always run up against the same problem – AVERAGE.
What do we mean by that? Average is always out there judging you and what you’re doing. Whether average comes in criticism from others, critical looks, or your very own head. Don’t listen, don’t accept, and get rid of it in your own thinking, and who you’re listening to. We mean refuse to accept average, in yourself, and in those around you.
Sound simple? It’s not. It can be one of the most difficult challenges you ever take on.
Here’s a fundamental example and it starts early in our lives…When you were in middle school or high school and friends wanted you to hang out, rather than study for a test, or practice your sport, pursue your music, what happened? They applied pressure. They coaxed, they prodded, and sometimes they deserted you. Or what happens if you aced tests all the time, were a top student, became the captain of a team, or got were becoming an accomplished musician? Some of your friends and peers mocked you because you were unavailable, busy going after your own plan. Your success does NOT come unconditionally. It comes with a price. It can be lonely at first to not settling for average. But by focusing on your goals and understanding that… in the end, your own self, and those you love will be better for it, and you will realize you can do it.
And, achieving success takes hard work, and most of us don’t want to do that, because it’s easier not to. Hard work, day after day, hour after hour, often when you don’t feel like it. The problem with not consistently pursuing your goals, we never realize our dreams.
Let’s face it, we’re all among that group, in one way or another, at times. There is NOT an area of our life where we succeed in everything. It may look like someone else does, but they don’t! So, stop dwelling on it. Just do what you want and want to succeed at, accept that you cannot do it all and won’t be successful in everything, career, money, fitness, nutrition, beauty, and/or relationships. There will be sacrifices and some areas of success you’ll never have. The question is, where do you really want success, because you don’t know and will never know if you don’t achieve it. So, you might as well go after your goal, with a vengeance, when it’s important to you, and overcome ‘average’.
Average comes in all shapes and forms and attacks you in ‘so’ many ways it’s challenging to overcome. It’s there in your head, in your friends, even in your family. No one means to send you ‘average’ intentions, but they often do. Because average is what most people are. And to compensate for that, we find flaws in those who are successful.
So, how do you overcome listening, thinking, and believing you’re not ‘average’? You become alert to it, and every time it roars its ugly head, you SHUT IT DOWN!
People, whether your friends, family, or strangers, will discourage you. Its only rarely that everyone agrees with you or what you’re doing. And there will be those who doubt you along the way.
- Start by believing in yourself and repeating positive messages to yourself frequently until they become your strongest message to yourself and rarely think otherwise. Whether it’s post-it notes, or inspirational messages, or on your home screen, tell yourself you are on the right road…all the time. And, when negative thoughts or doubt creep in, SHUT THEM DOWN FAST!
- Stay positive and be confident. Even if you’re not! None of us are, all the time, but fake it. ‘Fake it till you make it!’ Pretend confidence and eventually you will be confident. Eventually you’ll believe it and BE it.
- When others doubt you, listen and learn when appropriate, but never, ever doubt yourself. You may want to alter your mindset or direction, but you need to be cautious of doubters and move on.
- You will fail, sometime. Everyone does, but don’t dwell on it. If need be, look at it, analyze it quickly, learn from it, and move on. If you determine you need more guidance, direction, or to learn a new skill for your toolbox, get busy.
- Build alliances with those people that support you and believe in you. Move closer to those who aid and facilitate what you’re working toward, and limit exposure to those who don’t.
- Be cautious when you share your plan, because when you do, the brain interprets words for actions and you’re less likely to then achieve it. For more on this watch Derek Sivers in his TED Talk named, Keep Your Goals to Yourself.
- And, always, be grateful to those that supported you and support them in kind.